From the recording On the Way Down (Demo)
I wrote the music to "On the Way Down" when I was 19, and I wrote the lyrics in 45 min when I was 25, 6 years later. I always knew I wanted the song to be about a love interest that lead me on in college. However I never could find the right words to represent my experience.
Around the time I began to see her, I was developing rather serious anxiety issues due to the end of college approaching and my overall dissatisfaction with the state of my life and future. Although she showed genuine interest at first, things ended quickly due to my overeagerness.
I became so twisted over the lack of attention she gave me, that I created an unrealistic idea of her in my mind, to justify her stringing me along. I fell in love with this idea, and was convinced if we could get time alone together, she would understand how good we could be for one another.
As it turned out, she was only interested in my attention, and had no intention of ever reciprocating my feelings for her.
This song is an open letter from my heart, expressing all the things I should have said, while recognizing that our potential is "On the way down".
Lyrics
If I could find a way inside your heart
I’d cross a bridge forever
Just to get back to where it starts
It hurts to be so close and yet so far
But I’ve seen this before
And I know how it (this) ends
I don’t want to wait up
Thinking that you’ve got me made up
When all I wanted was just to get you all by yourself
But you keep thinking I’m someone else
You keep me unsettled when you push and pull me back again
Taking up too much space in my head
And I’m falling far from you
And I’ll never get back there
If nothing comes after me
Chasing you around
If all my love won’t do
Then we’re free falling now
Cause we’re on the way down
Hope is such a dirty tool
To have me playing the fool
Thinking I’ve got something to prove
And I don’t know you anymore
You keep on settling the score
And it hurts to still be playing games
I don’t want to wait up
thinking that you’ve got me made up
When all I wanted was just to get you all by yourself
But you keep thinking I’m someone else
You keep me unsettled when you push and pull back again
Taking up too much space in my head
And I’m falling far from you
And I’ll never get back there
If nothing comes after me
Chasing you around
If all my love won’t do
Then we’re free falling now cause we’re on the way
On the way down
You push and pull push and pull me back again
Taking up too much space inside my head
And I’m falling far from you
And I’ll never get back there
If nothing comes after me
Chasing you around
If all my love won’t do
Then we’re free falling now
Cause we’re on the way down
You know this running around
Is wearing me out
From chasing you and
Chasing you around
If this is on the way down
Then I won’t be proud
To say that I told you